Dear Mail Order Gardening companies,

Some words of advice when targeting newbie gardeners, much like myself, which must be your only customers, as I can’t believe that anyone actually re-orders from you…

The more information that you can give us about the plant, the more we will order from you. I realize that catalogs are not the place to print this information, but how about your website? Or even if you would just send the growing instructions that your catalog promises!

Yes, you must thinks us pretty stupid when we order stuff that you get from our area and then ship it back to us. Next time we will remember to walk through our yards to see what’s growing, BEFORE ordering, so that we don’t order hundreds of plants, that end up dying, yet the stuff that was dug up from our own property growing wild is doing great. Then when we call in asking for the guarantee, you tell us that the plant just must not grow well in our area… Duh, then why is it growing all through my woods, and why is your supplier for that particular plant listed as being less than an hour away from me?

The two week processing period on orders may be acceptable to experienced gardeners who know what they are doing and know what they need in Dec, but for those of us that don’t know until the last minute what we need just doesn’t cut it, not when there’s a tractor supply just down the road, sure it’s more expensive, but I get what I need in a relatively short period of time.

The quality of the plants that arrive is horrendous! Everything looked dead, and was much, much smaller than your telephone operator promised when she took the order. Trees that were supposed to be 2’-4’ tall, were barely 18”, the lavender I ordered was hardly more than dead seedlings, and the strawberries were black and moldy.

But then I realized you must have done this to show us what great gardeners we are, as I went ahead and planted everything anyway, as I had hundreds of dollars worth of stuff, and just hoped that something would come of it. Now everyone who stops by comments on how great my strawberries look, my trees are nearly three feet tall now, and the lavender that was a joke, is well… still a joke. The same kind of lavender that I started from seeds, nearly two months after I planted the plants you sent, is looking much better than the “hardy established plants” that I received from you. I won’t even go into the seeds I purchased from you and how they compared to the ones I picked up at Wal-mart.

But the houseplants I ordered that looked almost dead when I received them, are almost all recovered and growing wonderfully, the Angel Trumpet Tree went from being a six inch stick stuck in some soil to a nearly two foot tall plant with 6 inch leaves, the Banana Tree went from being two one inch leaves barely sticking out the soil to nearly eighteen inches tall with nine inch leaves, each one getting bigger and bigger as they open, and the Miniature Three-In-One Citrus tree is now nearly eighteen inches tall, from it’s previous six inches, unfortunately the Passion Flower vine is still a tiny green vine only about 3 inches long, but it now has at least 6 leaves, which it didn’t have when it arrived.

Like I needed a plant to tell me that there isn’t much passion in my house…

Yes, indeed, it does make me feel like I’m finally getting a green thumb, but I don’t believe that I should credit you with my successes, but more so the people whom put up the informational websites and books that I finally found telling me how to take care of the plants, since the information you promised was all but missing…

Sincerely,

The First Time Gardener

Yes, I am a first time gardener, and so far my experience has been a bit less than fulfilling, although my enthusiasm has waned in the least. Despite many, many failures such as all but five of my tomato seedlings dying, nearly all of my herd garden seedlings dying, and some very disappointing landscaping failures, I’m still out checking my garden every morning to see if anything new sprouted, and each little sprout makes me smile and get excited once more…

But advice is ALWAYS welcome, as I’m still having more failures than successes…

Oh, if only someone had told me not to plant grass in my strawberry patch, or in the area that was to be my garden…

Or that 10-10-10 fertilizer is too much nitrogen for garlic and onions, but that it is great for grass and ‘male’ plants…

Or even explained to me what the 10-10-10 was… I thought it was a brand name…

Of course, my husband thinks the best gardening tip I can get is to wear sneakers or boots while working in the yard… He just doesn’t seem to understand women’s shoes at all!  I love being able to slip my shoes on and off easily because I’m always running in and out of the house forgetting things.

So got gardening tips and tricks to help the newbie? I’d love to hear them!

Photo Credit to: Burpee Gardens