Today is the 8th anniversary of my 25th birthday. It’s hard to believe I’ve been twenty five for eight years now, it seems like only yesterday I was just twenty four and still wet behind the ears…

As I was thinking about what would be my dream gift, I decided that what I want is my time back, not all of it, but some of it. Being a work from home mom now for almost five years, I’ve realized how much my life has changed, and not all for the better. Being at home people tend to forget that you “work” and expect you to be able to handle any request at any time.

I’ve finally learned that you can’t do it all. You can’t be everything to everybody. My husband and children want supermom, the mom that can do it all. She can keep the house spotless, chauffeur everyone to where they need to be, cook gourmet suppers, and always has the exact art supplies handy that any school project might possibly need. She never gets flustered or cranky, she doesn’t require more than two hours of sleep a night, nor does she ever require/request any help ever.

My clients expect twenty-four hour tech support, for not just their website and internet questions but anything they deem to be technical, from cell phones to “I want to print out this really cool picture”, and everything in between. She’s supposed to know the answer to any question they may possibly want to ask any time of the day, even at 3am. She should never leave you hanging even if the question asked wasn’t in her specialized field, and she should always be reachable, 365 days a year. Vacations are not allowed, nor having a social life that takes her to places where she may not hear her cell phone ring, or have little to no signal, which up until recently was pretty much everywhere.

The rest of my family wants me to be many things from caretaker of my 82 year old grandmother, to chauffeur, tech support, book keeper, and most especially babysitter. They feel I should be able to handle their requests on a minute’s notice, without complaint, without hesitation, and without ever turning them down.

But lately, I’ve realized I can’t do it all. I can’t be everything for everybody and still stay sane. So my family, immediate and extended, and my clients are going to learn to have to compromise and work with me.

My Letters to My Husband, Children, Friends, Family and Clients….

Clients:

Twenty four hour tech support is no longer an option. If your website is down, call anytime so that I can find the cause. But for questions, comments and other general help, that wasn’t in our website design/management contract, feel free to email me anytime, but phone hours are now Monday thru Friday 8am to 5pm.

If you do decide that it can’t wait and you must call me on Friday night at 11pm because your lap top isn’t connecting to the internet, be prepared to receive a bill, for at least time and a half, and don’t expect me to be too pleasant when you wake me! Well, that is if I even answer the phone.

Friends and Family:

Extended family members and friends, you all know I love spending time with my nieces and nephews, and all your children. I also love it to be scheduled time, if you need a babysitter; you had better know at least 48 hours in advance so that I can clear my schedule. Except in extreme emergencies, and I mean extreme, someone bleeding to death, an immediately impending birth, or something else that requires emergency room care. Do not just stop up and hand me a child – you know I can’t say no in front of them! Also, I do enough parent-helping at the school for my own children, and will no longer be “filling in” for you on your own parent helping days! You do realize that all of your children’s friends think that I am their mothers. People now think that I have not only an aging grandmother that I take everywhere with me, but that I also have six children under the age of nine, they are shocked to discover that the kids I’m always toting around are not mine!

New baby sitting rules apply also to children of the four legged kind. I have three dogs of my own that I have to care for, groom and take to the vet, I’m done hauling your dogs to the groomers or vet’s simply because you have kids at home. I used to haul my daughter and the three dogs to the vet’s before she started school, being there didn’t damage her in the least – as it won’t your children either. You also each only have one dog, so if I can manage with three – you can surely manage one! If you don’t want to haul babies to the vet or groomer – you shouldn’t have gotten pets, or shouldn’t have had another baby, your choice – your responsibility!

The same goes for those of you needing a ride, or simply wanting to borrow my Durango because it seats all of you and your own cars don’t. My advice, buy bigger cars, the school bus (my Durango) is mine, it won’t be lent out except in extreme emergencies, see above section on babysitting emergencies for restrictions, so if you buy a car that seats four, only plan to haul three people with you, or plan on taking more than one vehicle. Also, if you buy an item that doesn’t fit into your own vehicle and the store can’t deliver it, then I have a nice flat bed trailer up here that you are more than welcome to borrow at anytime. The cialis order trailer is paid for – my Durango is not, so unless you want to pay it off or purchase it from me, it’s off limits. What, you don’t have hitches on your cars to haul the trailer? Well I know for a fact that you both have father-in-laws that have brand new long bed pick ups – call them, I’m sure they would be more than happy to lend their son’s their trucks!

Husband and children, I do not live in the house alone.

Our new housekeeping rules will be as follows:

If you make the mess – clean it up.

If you see one of the dogs make a mess – clean it up.

If you have a friend over and they make a mess – clean online pharmacy prescription it up.

If you want clean clothes – put them in the laundry, I dislike playing scavenger hunt at laundry time!

Speaking of laundry time, how do four people produce so much dirty laundry? You produce more than one load per day? Quit throwing your clean clothes on the floor because you’re too lazy to put them away, and then returning them to the dirty laundry bin for rewashing. Hubby this means you too! I’ve washed your white shirt 4 times in the past week, yet I haven’t seen you wear it since the beginning of February!

Our new feeding schedule:

I will serve three meals a day! Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. If you’re not here at that time, you will need to feed yourself.

If you’re hungry, have a snack and wait until the next meal time for mom to feed you. I will keep the snack cupboard full of the things you should be snacking on. Hubby this goes for you too! I do realize that your kitchen skills include only buttered noodles, but I also know that there is a freezer full of easy to make microwaveable meals, that even you can’t screw up. Or like everyone else, you can have a snack until the next meal time.

Do Not and I repeat, DO NOT come to me while I am in the bathtub and ask me to cook you something. The answer will be no, and if I can get a hold of you, you will probably get wet.

This brings us to a few other points, door locks and bathrooms:

I realize that none of the interior doors have a lock, which was obviously an oversight on my part while building the house – I should have specified to the builder that locks were required at least on the master suite and bathrooms, but I quite stupidly thought that that was a given, so apparently it is my own fault that I cannot lock you out. But if I am in the bathtub, pretend that the bathroom door has a lock and stay on the outside of it. I have been bathing myself for almost thirty years, I rarely need help, and if for some reason I do, I’ll be sure to yell for you.

Also, note that this list may change or be appended at any time of my choosing. Please read it often, I will happily provide you with a new copy each time changes are made, you will find those copies taped to your computer monitors, where I know you will all find them.